Dan experiences an epic transformation whilst at his friend’s birthday weekend.

To access previous chapters, visit Jane Read’s Author Page.

 

Chapter 5.                                                                                                   

Dan

                               

‘I do not suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.’

Edgar Allan Poe

 

Carl and I are heading out of London by tube and train. I’m filled with a wonderful confidence about the way ahead. Carl seems tense, worrying about engineering works on the train line, for some reason. I’m completely chilled, just knowing everything will be fine. In this moment, standing on the edge of the platform, I feel powerful, indestructible, as though I am part of a major blockbuster action movie. Pumped up and ready for battle, my thoughts flow unhindered through my mind. I am the one leading the way.

We eventually arrive at Mark’s folks’ house, and I spot the grand piano in the living room, so I sit myself down and begin playing right away.  I get the sense that God is enjoying my music and inspiring me with what to play next. My excitement builds. Something monumental is dawning. This thing is much bigger than just being born again. I know now that the Almighty has a truly epic plan for me.

 Mark’s family are trying to persuade me to eat with them.

‘I don’t eat.’ I explain, but I’m starting to understand the source of all my energy. After tea, everyone heads into the lounge, but I stay where I am, near the piano.  I am here for a purpose, not just to party or have a good time. Carl comes back in whistling to himself and is tentatively plucking at the string board, underneath the lid of the piano.

‘That’s amazing, Carl. Keep going, your plucking is completely in sync with my playing, can you hear it?’

‘I’m just plucking random strings, just messing around. I can’t play at all.’

‘Don’t stop. I’ll choose chords to accompany you.” I love how he is responding to my music.

The family sit to watch a film, but I can’t concentrate. Later, we wander upstairs to get ready for bed. Everyone is getting tired. I’m not sleepy at all. Mark’s mum has laid out mattresses and there are bunk beds in one of the kids’ bedrooms. I try to rest but it’s impossible to relax. My mind is too busy. I don’t lie still for long. Carl is in the bunk below me, but I hear him getting out of bed and starting to creep downstairs, so I follow him.

He says he wants to be left alone to learn his lines, to prepare for the Shakespeare, but something urges me to stalk him until I get through to him with my message. There is this one incredible moment when I pray that he will be so moved by the playscript, that it will have a visible effect on him. He starts to cry. This is the sign I need to prove that I am penetrating the souls of others.

By morning, I’m feeling queasy, and then I’m suddenly up, on my feet and being sick in the bathroom. I realise this is God’s unmistakable way of warning me never to drink alcohol, ever again (although I’d only actually had one glass of mulled wine the night before).  His parents keep offering food and coffee all day, but I refuse everything. I need some fresh air. Mark and his girlfriend say that they are planning a walk, but I’m getting impatient. They are taking way too long to get ready. We eventually step outside, and I shoot off, racing ahead. I’m practically running now, gabbling away non-stop.

‘Slow down, Dan!’

‘You don’t understand,’ I shout. ‘Everything is from God! Everything!’ I gesticulate, waving my arms around wildly.

I come to a sudden halt and stand completely still.  ‘Something weird is happening.’

‘What is going on, Dan?’

I want to announce, ‘I believe I am Jesus Christ.’ It’s on the tip of my tongue to say it.

‘No, I can’t say that… I just can’t.’

‘What can’t you say?’

I take a breath, then speak out, ‘This is going to sound ridiculous– I am God’s Son. The Greatest Saviour that ever lived!’

My voice is loud, I’m breathing fast. My pulse is racing. They stop dead, but don’t challenge or disagree with me.

‘Dan, it’s quite normal to feel at one with Jesus once you have accepted the Lord into your life,’ Claire says to me in a gentle voice.

But what I am saying is that I am literally Him. The actual, friggin’ human embodiment of Jesus Christ! Unlikely as it may seem, God has chosen this skinny kid from York to carry out his vital work in the world and to pick up from where he has left off. I have not just been transformed into his likeness. I actually am Him! I try to remember Jesus’ words from John’s gospel to say them aloud, with my arms raised:

‘I…. I am the Way, the Truth and the Life!’

But I can’t remember the second part, so I make something up:

‘Those who follow me…., they can do…. ANYTHING!’

Mark seems a bit undecided about following me, but he still doesn’t argue. We come to a huge puddle in the middle of the lane. My two friends are standing opposite me, on the far side. Smiling, I glide across the puddle towards them. It is a magical, supernatural moment when I know I am completely transformed into the person of Jesus. Here I am, walking on water!

I embrace them both with a radiant smile. They look worried and ask if I can remember the route back to the house, then they walk on ahead, without me. Mark turns around as they set off, ‘Dan are you SURE you know the way?’

I reply with complete certainty, ‘Of course I know the way… I am The Way!’

Clouds gather, and it starts to pour with rain as I walk. I am singing aloud, knowing that this shower is God’s anointing on me. I’m completely drenched with his blessing. I feel more elated and more powerful in this moment than I have ever felt my whole life. The transformation is complete. I have become Jesus Christ, the one who has been promised to mankind. The one who will save the world.

Eventually, I arrive back at Mark’s.  I’m standing on the doorstep grinning, dripping on the mat, assuring everyone that I’m fine. Mark’s mum looks confused and hands me a towel. I strip off my wet clothes briskly, rubbing myself and shouting to Carl to ‘Come on! I’m ready to get going!’ He seems subdued, in a bit of a mood (maybe because I kept him awake). He then says that he wants to stay at Mark’s house for a bit longer.

‘But listen, Carl, I really think you should be following me.’

I catch sight of Mark’s younger brother doing something on his laptop, so I order him to stop, turn it off right away. I close the lid firmly. I am beginning to sense God’s disapproval of technology and people spending too much time on computers, social media and electronic games and phones. The teenager looks a bit taken aback, but does as he is told. When I hear him and his brother squabbling a bit later, I step into the kitchen to bring my peace to the situation. I tell Mark’s mum that she must not be discouraged, because God sees that she is doing a great job as a mother and He will bless her.

Mark’s grandparents are apparently on their way over, so I think I ought to stick around for a bit to meet with them, too. It’s my responsibility to ensure that everyone is converted, healed and completely at peace before I leave. I see my presence as a force for transformation and pure, unadulterated living. Every time I catch sight of a bottle of wine in the house, I pick it up and hide it away somewhere, saying, ‘Now, we don’t need this, do we?’  I am kind of doing the reverse of the miracle at the wedding in Cana!

Mark’s granny and grandpa arrive and introduce themselves with a smile.

‘How nice to meet you, Dan. Where are you from?’

I don’t reply in words. I just wink at them, pointing my index finger heavenwards.

The others gather around in the dining room for their meal. They try to persuade me to sit down, and I wonder whether I should be breaking bread with them all, like the Last Supper. I know that it will be impossible for me to eat so, I start to strum Mark’s guitar and occupy myself by shimmying sideways around the table, while the others tuck into their Sunday lunch. I’m grinning broadly, knowing that my music has the power to penetrate this family’s hearts and bring them all closer to God and to each other.

Just then, we hear a piercing yell. Mark’s youngest brother has burned his hand on the oven door. They hold it under the tap and as I watch, I can feel his pain searing through me. I go into the kitchen holding one hand over my heart and placing my other hand gently on top of the boy’s head to bring about his healing. It is an emotional moment, and I suddenly begin to feel weak, as though some kind of Divine power has left my body. My legs and arms have lost their strength. I feel a bit lightheaded and realise I need to rest. I drag myself upstairs to lie down and I think perhaps I fall asleep for a few seconds.

Mark comes up a short time later, saying that Carl is ready to get back to London. His mum has offered to give us a lift back. She thinks I look exhausted and is a little bit worried about me. She lowers the passenger seat of her car so that I can rest some more on the way. During the drive, I overhear them having a whispered conversation, so I sit up, fully alert. They are using my name. ‘But listen to me.’ I shout out. ‘I’m not called Dan!’ I’m banging my hand repeatedly on the arm rest of the car door. Mark looks scared as his mum swerves slightly, then he tries to calm everything down by singing a gentle worship song for the remainder of the journey. I think everyone around is feeling a bit tense.

‘Fear not,’ I assure them, ‘For I am with you.’