Working in East London I was allocated to work with a man who had recently returned to the area following many years living as either homeless or in squats. East London was where he was originally from and it felt meaningful that he had chosen to return despite no longer having any family or friends in the area. ‘D’ only stayed for about 9 months, living in temporary accommodation, before moving on again, I believe to Wales. D showed me a side of human and social experience I had never come close to before. A person with no bank account, no house, no social network, dealing with immense distress, but who laughed with a tinkle in his eye, shared beautiful and moving stories, and took an interest in me despite all he was going through. ‘Making it look so easy but really it felt so hard’ was a line written to acknowledge the grace and humanity he kept while living with an inner turmoil. One day D took me to a local pond and pointed out an island in the middle. The island was sufficiently large and with enough foliage that you could just about imagine living there incognito, if you had the means to get there. It felt like a place that represented a sort of safety to D as well as an escape from a ‘real’ world that had not done especially well by him. I hope that one day D reaches that island, if only metaphorically.

 

‘This Is The Place You’ve Chosen’

 

Standing on the ocean floor,

Sensing that I have been here long before,

When we go back to the start,

With our backs up to the wall,

Standing on the ocean floor.

 

Church steps leading down to where we sat and talked,

You told me that you were still a child at heart,

Losing more than you had ever bargained for,

We broke into the school to keep inside the warmth.

 

Making it look so easy when really it felt so hard

This is the place you’ve chosen, this is the man you are.

 

Just an island on the pond,

Did you find a boat to take you there,

The crossing may be long,

Don’t be a saviour for the failures of this world,

There’s a story you’ll have told,

Whispered in my ear.

 

Making it look so easy when really it felt so hard

This is the place you’ve chosen, this is the man you are

Standing on the ocean floor,

Sensing that I’ve been here long before,

When we go back to the start,

With our backs up to the wall,

Standing on the ocean floor.